Malikah’s Mind – Finding Myself

Hello Everyone!

I hope you are all doing well! Sorry for not posting anything last week! My goal for the Summer was to have 2 posts a week but things didn’t work out as planned and I also was busy prepping for a retreat this past weekend! I attended a 4 day leadership retreat and hence, I wanted to share some thoughts that really resonated with me.

Through the short four days, I learned a lot about myself. Going into the retreat, I thought I really knew what I wanted to achieve in life and what my goals are. I really wanted to focus on how to become a transformational leader, not just a transactional leader. With that, I wanted to have more confidence in myself, in terms of my competencies and abilities. In reality, I had a different experience. Yes, fortunately, I did accomplish these objectives to an extent, but I ended up learning a lot more.

I actually knew or at least knew of many of the people that attended the retreat, so naturally, I had certain expectations or judgments about them. Boy, was I wrong. And sorry for that! The retreat really forced us to talk about quite deep things right from the get go. In the various workshops, we discussed about our goals, ambitions, values, fears, judgments, personalities, regrets, and dealing with change. It was quite intense. But it was only through such conversations about these concepts that I saw everyone in a different light. I didn’t see the image they portrayed outwardly, for who they seem to be, or for who their friends are. I saw them for 100% them.

This made me realize that our perceptions really do affect our decisions and behaviour towards people. This seems like a well-known idea and a bit of a “duh” moment, but I didn’t realize it until I had the opportunity to talk to people about more than just the surface-level.

Talking about my goals, values, and personality to others helped me realize the sincerity of my actions and how to really step forward to be a positive influence for others. The activities we participated in had an impact on me that transcended to even the free time and outdoor events. For example, when we went canoeing in the gorgeous lake, I noticed that every time I pulled the oar up from the water and into air, some water would drip down from the oar. These couple of drops would then cause much larger ripples in the larger body of water. At that moment, I recognized that I want to be those drops of water. Yes, they are small and stem from a larger force, but, they still had a substantial impact on the greater environment around them. I don’t necessarily have to make a huge change like bring world peace, but I just want to make a lasting impact on others that will really help them. I want to help others be happy. I want to help others achieve their goals. I want to help others reach their greater vision.

At the end of it all, I was able to learn more about myself through my interactions with others. I encountered many people who had different ideas than me. They either had a completely opposite opinion than me, or their perspective was one I had never considered before. These are the people that intrigued me and the people that I just wanted to talk to for hours. I tried to make any encounter with them so I could have a conversation and just listen. Thank you for dealing with me and allowing me to ask you a bunch of questions. I think you know who you are 🙂

I wanted to take a second to thank some people for helping make this experience one of the best:

Facilitators – Thank you for pushing me to realize my own thoughts and not relying on others. You all were so genuine and helped me delve into myself instead of going straight to others for help.

Angels (Leadership Coaches) – Even though I didn’t talk to all of you, the ones I talked to really helped me a lot. Just you being there and letting me talk was very appreciated! Your advice is priceless to me!

People I questioned and had longer conversations with (LOL) – Thank you for letting me ask you questions about your goals and values. I know it may have been uncomfortable for you to share, but I sincerely valued every second of our conversations and am honoured that you trusted me.

Friends, New and Old – Thank you for being there for me and sharing your thoughts, experiences, laughter, and yourself with me! I hope we can stay in touch and I look forward to creating new memories!

Sorry this post is a jumble and not very well organized. The structure represents my thoughts right now. Hence, I named it Finding Myself (I wanted to name it Finding Yourself to make it general but one of the guiding principles of the retreat was to speak in the “I” so you can be accountable for your ideas and not assume they are everyone else’s as well. I had to take ownership for my thoughts so I changed it lol).

Thanks for reading and I hope by sharing my experiences, it can help you, even in the slightest way.

Lots of love from HijabiHeroes,


~Where Style and Modesty Save the Day!~

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